Thought # 1

It has been 9 months since my dad passed away.

Grief is a weird thing. At times it is a gentle pat on the shoulder that says, remember me? At other times it comes up behind you and smacks you to the ground. It is never the same. A word, a song, a scent... that is all it takes.

One Sunday I was leading worship and in the middle of "Lifesong" there is a word in the second verse... "grief". A simple word, and as soon as I sang it, I lost it. It's one thing to grieve in private, but to feel like you want to run away in the middle of a service with all eyes on you, and to try to sing and all that comes out is a cry... and then the tears... and the music keeps on playing... and ... there it is... it all keeps going on.

An amazing thing about God's grace, is that even in the middle of a storm, there is peace. I realized at that moment, yes when i was NOT singing, playing the piano, crying, and nothing intelligible coming out of my mouth, that I was not alone. At that moment, I knew that I was not alone. It seems that God dwells among the tears and piano playing after all.

I am rambling, but hey it's my blog, so don't read it. Or, understand that You will have your "Lifesong" moment and God will be there too. I still cry, not every day, but I do cry when I think of the loss of the man that lived and breathed and loved and modeled God's love. What I do know with the core of my being is that JEHOVAH JIREH is there to give you and I what we need at all moments and seconds of our lives. In our "Lifesong" moments He is singing along right beside us and with us and for us and because of us...